Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
