it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
