she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize