Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
