your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
