I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
