my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
