just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
