Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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