Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
