Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
