So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
