did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
