just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
