That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize