redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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