Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
