I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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