butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
