we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
