Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
