What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize