That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
