You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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