I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize