If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
