Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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