How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
