I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
