this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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