Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
