Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
