Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
