Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
