Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
