Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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