Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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