two words...techno handjob
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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