I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
