dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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