just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize