I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
