would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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