Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
