why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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