did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
