Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
