My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
