dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
