how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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