saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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