evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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