I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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