i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
