i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
