I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
