it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
