He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
