What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
