it was like his penis was on wheels.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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