there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
