You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
