He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
