Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
