i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
