unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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