I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
