I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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