I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
