69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
