Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize