I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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