SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
